Roam, Italy

September 21, 2014

 

Steeper Than A Cows Face

     Hello journal followers! Sorry for the lapse in delivery. As with all undelivered promises in Italy, I could blame it on a strike. But the real reason is that our current hotel WiFi seems to be connected only to a black hole somewhere in outer space. A very brief contact only produced Romulan babble. Somewhere, parsecs away, some dude with four eyebrows is wondering what the heck “autra vino, per favore!” means. 

     Sunday was a travel day. A five-hour bus ride to Varenna on Lake Como. On the ride Marty and I tried to get everyone to sing the “Flintstones, meet the Flintstones” theme song (think John Candy - “Planes, Trains and Automobiles”). A tough crowd. Maybe too early in the tour. 

     Lake Como is a magical place. A beautiful lake, with steep mountain walled shores. It is in the shape of an upside down “Y”. At the very north end you can see the Swiss Alps. 

     On Monday we ferried to Bellagio, located in the crotch of the “Y” to do some nosing around. The locals call it the “crotch” so maybe “nosing around” was a poor choice of words. Maybe snooping... Maybe not. 

     Bellagio is built up the steep hillside. Lots of cool shops, restaurants, and gelato stands. To go anywhere, you have to climb, climb, climb. All steps are cobblestone. Picture this: Take a 12 foot x 8 foot x 6 inch high area and fill it with pool balls - and throw in the occasional baseball. Now randomly tilt it at about 5 degrees, in varying directions. Now offset and stack about 100 of these so you have a cobblestone stairway. Now imagine walking on this surface. This is the main way to navigate Bellagio. I climbed one of these today. Upon reaching the top, I sought out a bench, assumed the “I've been shot!” position, and waited for my heart rate to get back into double digit territory. Took a while. 

     In a nod to my teacher bride, I am going to give you a simple math problem to solve. This is real, as personally witnessed this afternoon: A thirty-something mother with a 3-4 month-old baby in a stroller is about to head up one of these stairs. The child is gnawing on a pretzel about the size of a piece of chalk. Question: what are the probable odds the infant pokes both eyes out before they reach the tenth step? Answer this correctly and you win a one-way trip into our inter-web black hole.

    Tomorrow we head for Cinque Terre.